for not letting myself kill me.
Cargo has been back in work for 18 days now, after chiro visit and his diagnosis in his right front hoof (Calcifications on a suspensory). Today, I was unsupervised, and decided to try riding him in a modified nylon halter.
So far, so good. He is a good boy and we have a covered, enclosed riding arena. Only, I rode right out of it after a few rounds, and out on a well-known trail. He did test the new gadget quite a few times, trying to spin around and avoid going forward. His evasion techniques almost always included getting to somewhere softer, so wondering if I should put pads in his shoes or use boots? Hmm.
Anyways, we got going, past my SIL's house, past a lot of fields, past an old closed-down farm, and are almost at the forest, further away than we had ever been, when he balked. There was no getting forward anymore, so after a few rounds around and around I settled and standing still and looking in the scary direction, and turning around. That introduced a new, yet similar problem.. Cargo wouldnt go past the old farm. Had I worn a whip and used a bit he might have , but he was a lot less sharp without the bit, so I couldnt get him forward to matter what. I hopped off when he started to get light in the front end. He does not rear, but he gets light in the front end and hops up and down.
Led him past, tried to make friends with the scary house, but he is still not really comfortable with it. I had hestitated a long time to jump down because I've never tried to mount from the ground. Remember, Cargo is 17.3 hands! So I led him a little past, and placed him so he was an inch or two lower than me. Put my foot in the stirrup, and actually got up without much dangling etc! I was deeply amazed. I am afraid though that I hurt him, because he took off at a canter down a hill into a wheat field when I had barely mounted. I flung back the hand that held the reins and yelled "STOOOOP" and he stood like he'd hit a wall. He listened much more on the way home, even walked through the water puddles. He obviously liked not having a bit in his mouth.
But puh - if he had had a bit all that sh*t might not have happened. I could have gotten us both killed as he was on his way down into a moor/lake, a bottomless one. With a little luck we'd have been preserved perfectly for the nect thousand years.. oh my. I am so glad he stopped when I asked him, and that he puts up with me.
Friday, 14 August 2009
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
I got to name a horse!
Yes I did :)
On the FiSH (Former the Fugly Board) Dutchy posted about her BO's breeding - nice mares, nice stallions, and so much bad luck this year. The first not stillborn foal was born by that time, but very premature. She had seizures, was weak, wouldnt stand etc.
She asked for names, it had to be something special, start with E, and preferrably end with -linde since this filly was out of the BO's mare line she had had for 3 generations, all ending with -linde.
Among other names I proposed Engelinde, which means "Female Angel" in danish. This name was chosen for the little filly, who continued to get better and stronger. Until April 21 where she died, quickly and unexpectedly, from an infection that would not have mattered if she were not so premature :( I would have loved for her to grow up and maybe google her name from time to time, but it was not to be. Rest in Peace, little Engelinde.
/Lene
On the FiSH (Former the Fugly Board) Dutchy posted about her BO's breeding - nice mares, nice stallions, and so much bad luck this year. The first not stillborn foal was born by that time, but very premature. She had seizures, was weak, wouldnt stand etc.
She asked for names, it had to be something special, start with E, and preferrably end with -linde since this filly was out of the BO's mare line she had had for 3 generations, all ending with -linde.
Among other names I proposed Engelinde, which means "Female Angel" in danish. This name was chosen for the little filly, who continued to get better and stronger. Until April 21 where she died, quickly and unexpectedly, from an infection that would not have mattered if she were not so premature :( I would have loved for her to grow up and maybe google her name from time to time, but it was not to be. Rest in Peace, little Engelinde.
/Lene
Monday, 6 April 2009
Cargo has moved
Cargo is living with my SIL and brother now. Not something I chose willingly, but it is OK with me, my SIL is a competent rider who can fix the mistakes I have made, and teach me better. I must face the fact that I chose the wrong teachers, sadly.
He now is on a new feeding plan that hopefully will make him look better soon, if not, I will look into ulcers etc. His new saddle fits well, his stall is very roomy, he has hay and straw out the wazoo, is standing on wood pellets, has several licking stones and the attention of a whole family.
He now is on a new feeding plan that hopefully will make him look better soon, if not, I will look into ulcers etc. His new saddle fits well, his stall is very roomy, he has hay and straw out the wazoo, is standing on wood pellets, has several licking stones and the attention of a whole family.
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
Good Boy
Yes, that is what he is. My steady Eddy.
No, he is not 100% stable and will do anything in the first try, but eventually, he will.
I wrote before that he was etremely scared of poles, jumps and anything resembling that. I am a complete and utter novice to anything concerning jumps and the training involved in that, so I lunged him in walk over poles until he stopped bolting to a canter and jumping over them, and just walking over them. I watched people jump, watched the jumping lessons, and read about jumping. I discovered that it is not desirable to have a horse that will jump anything, and run faster when they see the jump - it might be a sign that the horse is actually scared and just wants to get over with it! I could understand that, in the light of Cargo plowing through me to get into his box stall, almost cantering, because he was so scared of going through the door.
I especially observed a big chestnut gelding whose rider is a bit of a chicken, but has taken up jumping because "The horse likes it". He does the "Overjumping over a simple ground pole" thing, will run dead on to a jump and overjump it, and will refuse any combination if the rider is not vigilant. He runs the show, not the rider. I learnt that he probably associated the poles with something negative, and tried to get over them, or away from them, if he felt he could not get over them. I dont think he has touched one yet, which some interpret as talent when he hauls ass over them.
How does this relate to Cargo?
Well, for once, I have realised I have to "hurry slowly". I can not work with him for a week and expect him to be a Steady Eddy 2"+ mount, even though he certainly has the bloodlines, and also to some extent, the build for it. I discovered that for a happy and relaxed mount around poles and possibly small jumps, he will need to accept and relearn some things from the ground on. For example that nothing will be jumped unless I cue him to jump!! There are no short-cuts in this massive project that should at least end out with a horse that does not spook at jumps, does trot-poles, and will take a small obstacle on the trail, and might end out with a good low-level jumper if ridden by a conscentious person who knows his issues.
I have started out, first by longing him as described earlier, but have had better results outside of the arena where we have a jumping course with cavalettis. I lowered them to be around 8-9" tall(low), and walked between them. Again and again. Then over them. I waited for him, patiently.. Then not so patiently.. Stood by his head, then by his shoulder, and by the 10th time we went over them he did not touch one pole, I stood by his shoulder, he only hestitated a tiny bit. I was so proud I could have busted! Instead we went out in the forest and I found two poles set up like an X-rail. We walked over it! I am pretty sure he would have jumped it in the first time I owned him. We walked over it twice, worked a little on other ground manners, and then I put him away, with a lot of praise. I do use a lot of praise, and it seems to work on him too. He got more and more confident with the cavalettis.
Also, with a big pot of luck I might have my saddle friday yes yes! I feel confident to walk over some poles and even cavalettis now while riding him.
I wow to never ever push him beyond what I think he can do, and if I fear he might do something I dont want him to - like breaking into a canter over a pole and jumping it - I will do something else instead and wait with that exercise.
Cargo might also go to the Danish National Riding Association's (DRF) Headquarter - squeal! My SIL will attend a row of 4 seminars up there, and for three of them they need to bring a horse. She does have a horse, but monday morning the horse started foundering in the fronts, laminitis.. :'( The acute stage is not yet over, and when it is she will have to be stalled for 6 weeks and then lightly walked - best case scenario. I have no desire to think about worst case scenario.
I promptly offered my SIL Cargo for at least the upcoming seminar, in the middle of May, where Kathleen will only be cleared for light walking. My SIL was happy for the offer, and I think it will benefit my boy, so I look forward to it. Even though I am very sad that her horse is sick (again). It seems as if every time she is ready and better than ever before, she goes down with something. One colic scare, three "colds", and the long long time where she recovered from girth sores and mental scars from being a lesson pony, pulled from a broodmare band as a 13yo and green broke, thrown into a lesson barn. SIL has done such a good job with her, it would be unusually cruel and heartbreaking if Kathleen wont pull through. Already when she told me Kathleen was foundering I knew how she had felt when I asked her if she would be with me when Basse was put down - the fear of seeing the pain that could so well be my own in just a little time, just a little mishap, and everything could be over.
Some people can not do it.They can not see their animals being dead, they can not be there when they are put to sleep, or even arrange it. It requires a certain strength, I think. I was brought up with that no animal is left alone or thrown away, and that you take care of them to the bitter end. I even brought a hamster to the vet to be euthed because it broke my heart to see him, so ancient at 3½ years, my little companion, suffering because I couldnt be bothered.. No. I have heard many stories about horses being euthed too, people who said goodbye and left the horse with a friend, with the vet and vet tech, people who hid until the animal was dead, people who said goodbye the day before and didnt come out before the carcass was removed, vets holding the animal through the whole procedure and so on. Initially, I was scared too. I have never made a harder call than the one to the vet, my hands shook, my voice quivered, tears began to run, and as soon as we were finished I cried. I had made an appointment 2 weeks in the future so my SIL could be there too, she had promised me to be there. I told her the vet wanted to come out at 8 am and she said something about it being early - I didnt mention it to her again. I did not want to send my best friend over the rainbow and seek solace from a person who'd rather be everywhere else. When the day came, it was a curious day. I got up early early, and was there at 6 am. It is among one of those things I will never regret doing, if if were shown me that that action caused storm and war and mass destruction. I held her when she went down, but that was not the hardest part. Until then she "was leaving" and I was the person who would be "left behind". It was not entirely my doing, I was still a little innocent, could still be weak and hurting. But then - she didnt die. 20 minutes. 20 minutes and 3 syringes of the purple stuff.
I begged my best friend to die.
"Please die" I told her. All innocense, all weakness left me, I could not allow myself to feel pain - I had to be there for her, I had promised her to be there forever, I grew up in a flash, she taught me another lesson. She died in my arms, the only person in this world who cared enough to end her suffering and not make another quick buck on her. We were left alone, and I learned another lesson - not the broken heart, but the heart with a missing piece that can never be pieced back together or grow a replacement piece. She was somehow filled with green grass, I dont know why, but I picked them all off of her, gave her my last promises, hugged her and I cried, I yelled, screamed, shouted, while I cried. Her best horsie friend said goodbye to her - it made me cry again, Regina had shouted for her but when I put her back into the field she never "said another word". I chopped Basses tail off because I knew I could never re-do any of my actions. Do it right the first time - or live with the regrets. I sighed. Heaved a heavy breath. Turned on my camera and walked down the little dirt road to the place where she lay, taking pictures along the way. The camera died after two pictures of her, which probably was a good thing.
See the gap between the trees?
I cuddled her one last time, saying goodbye, that I loved her, that I was sorry for all the things I did wrong, and that I would always carry her in my heart. Then a miracle of strength and love occurred!! I turned around, knowing I would never see her again, but there she was! In the sun, the sky, the birds sang her name, she gallopped in my heart in in the clouds. I've never lost her since, strange as it might sound. She has given me strenght many times, she gave me the strenght to hold a little lesson pony on her way over the rainbow bridge, when nobody else, not even the BO cared, strength to say yes and no, to follow my heart (and head), and almost every single piece of equipment I had that was hers has made a difference in some horses or kids life. Her blanket keeps an old broodie misused for lesson horse warm in the winter, her halter replaced a chafing and worn-out halter on another lesson horse, her polos, her bridle, her fleece blanket - they have all made a difference. Just as she made a difference in my life and taught an autistic person how to love unconditionally, I want to make a difference to others, to horses, to humans. The stretched-out hand that offers instead of takes, the kind eyes that do not condemn, the ever-forgiving soul of an 80 year old grandmother from who has been taken, and to whom has been given, and who knows that everything goes around.
Ah Basse, I miss you, my tears wrote a poem of love for you on my cheeks. I didnt know an animal could mean so much. Thankyou for coming to me in the fall of your life, and teaching me a little more of being a human.
No, he is not 100% stable and will do anything in the first try, but eventually, he will.
I wrote before that he was etremely scared of poles, jumps and anything resembling that. I am a complete and utter novice to anything concerning jumps and the training involved in that, so I lunged him in walk over poles until he stopped bolting to a canter and jumping over them, and just walking over them. I watched people jump, watched the jumping lessons, and read about jumping. I discovered that it is not desirable to have a horse that will jump anything, and run faster when they see the jump - it might be a sign that the horse is actually scared and just wants to get over with it! I could understand that, in the light of Cargo plowing through me to get into his box stall, almost cantering, because he was so scared of going through the door.
I especially observed a big chestnut gelding whose rider is a bit of a chicken, but has taken up jumping because "The horse likes it". He does the "Overjumping over a simple ground pole" thing, will run dead on to a jump and overjump it, and will refuse any combination if the rider is not vigilant. He runs the show, not the rider. I learnt that he probably associated the poles with something negative, and tried to get over them, or away from them, if he felt he could not get over them. I dont think he has touched one yet, which some interpret as talent when he hauls ass over them.
How does this relate to Cargo?
Well, for once, I have realised I have to "hurry slowly". I can not work with him for a week and expect him to be a Steady Eddy 2"+ mount, even though he certainly has the bloodlines, and also to some extent, the build for it. I discovered that for a happy and relaxed mount around poles and possibly small jumps, he will need to accept and relearn some things from the ground on. For example that nothing will be jumped unless I cue him to jump!! There are no short-cuts in this massive project that should at least end out with a horse that does not spook at jumps, does trot-poles, and will take a small obstacle on the trail, and might end out with a good low-level jumper if ridden by a conscentious person who knows his issues.
I have started out, first by longing him as described earlier, but have had better results outside of the arena where we have a jumping course with cavalettis. I lowered them to be around 8-9" tall(low), and walked between them. Again and again. Then over them. I waited for him, patiently.. Then not so patiently.. Stood by his head, then by his shoulder, and by the 10th time we went over them he did not touch one pole, I stood by his shoulder, he only hestitated a tiny bit. I was so proud I could have busted! Instead we went out in the forest and I found two poles set up like an X-rail. We walked over it! I am pretty sure he would have jumped it in the first time I owned him. We walked over it twice, worked a little on other ground manners, and then I put him away, with a lot of praise. I do use a lot of praise, and it seems to work on him too. He got more and more confident with the cavalettis.
Also, with a big pot of luck I might have my saddle friday yes yes! I feel confident to walk over some poles and even cavalettis now while riding him.
I wow to never ever push him beyond what I think he can do, and if I fear he might do something I dont want him to - like breaking into a canter over a pole and jumping it - I will do something else instead and wait with that exercise.
Cargo might also go to the Danish National Riding Association's (DRF) Headquarter - squeal! My SIL will attend a row of 4 seminars up there, and for three of them they need to bring a horse. She does have a horse, but monday morning the horse started foundering in the fronts, laminitis.. :'( The acute stage is not yet over, and when it is she will have to be stalled for 6 weeks and then lightly walked - best case scenario. I have no desire to think about worst case scenario.
I promptly offered my SIL Cargo for at least the upcoming seminar, in the middle of May, where Kathleen will only be cleared for light walking. My SIL was happy for the offer, and I think it will benefit my boy, so I look forward to it. Even though I am very sad that her horse is sick (again). It seems as if every time she is ready and better than ever before, she goes down with something. One colic scare, three "colds", and the long long time where she recovered from girth sores and mental scars from being a lesson pony, pulled from a broodmare band as a 13yo and green broke, thrown into a lesson barn. SIL has done such a good job with her, it would be unusually cruel and heartbreaking if Kathleen wont pull through. Already when she told me Kathleen was foundering I knew how she had felt when I asked her if she would be with me when Basse was put down - the fear of seeing the pain that could so well be my own in just a little time, just a little mishap, and everything could be over.
Some people can not do it.They can not see their animals being dead, they can not be there when they are put to sleep, or even arrange it. It requires a certain strength, I think. I was brought up with that no animal is left alone or thrown away, and that you take care of them to the bitter end. I even brought a hamster to the vet to be euthed because it broke my heart to see him, so ancient at 3½ years, my little companion, suffering because I couldnt be bothered.. No. I have heard many stories about horses being euthed too, people who said goodbye and left the horse with a friend, with the vet and vet tech, people who hid until the animal was dead, people who said goodbye the day before and didnt come out before the carcass was removed, vets holding the animal through the whole procedure and so on. Initially, I was scared too. I have never made a harder call than the one to the vet, my hands shook, my voice quivered, tears began to run, and as soon as we were finished I cried. I had made an appointment 2 weeks in the future so my SIL could be there too, she had promised me to be there. I told her the vet wanted to come out at 8 am and she said something about it being early - I didnt mention it to her again. I did not want to send my best friend over the rainbow and seek solace from a person who'd rather be everywhere else. When the day came, it was a curious day. I got up early early, and was there at 6 am. It is among one of those things I will never regret doing, if if were shown me that that action caused storm and war and mass destruction. I held her when she went down, but that was not the hardest part. Until then she "was leaving" and I was the person who would be "left behind". It was not entirely my doing, I was still a little innocent, could still be weak and hurting. But then - she didnt die. 20 minutes. 20 minutes and 3 syringes of the purple stuff.
I begged my best friend to die.
"Please die" I told her. All innocense, all weakness left me, I could not allow myself to feel pain - I had to be there for her, I had promised her to be there forever, I grew up in a flash, she taught me another lesson. She died in my arms, the only person in this world who cared enough to end her suffering and not make another quick buck on her. We were left alone, and I learned another lesson - not the broken heart, but the heart with a missing piece that can never be pieced back together or grow a replacement piece. She was somehow filled with green grass, I dont know why, but I picked them all off of her, gave her my last promises, hugged her and I cried, I yelled, screamed, shouted, while I cried. Her best horsie friend said goodbye to her - it made me cry again, Regina had shouted for her but when I put her back into the field she never "said another word". I chopped Basses tail off because I knew I could never re-do any of my actions. Do it right the first time - or live with the regrets. I sighed. Heaved a heavy breath. Turned on my camera and walked down the little dirt road to the place where she lay, taking pictures along the way. The camera died after two pictures of her, which probably was a good thing.
See the gap between the trees?
I cuddled her one last time, saying goodbye, that I loved her, that I was sorry for all the things I did wrong, and that I would always carry her in my heart. Then a miracle of strength and love occurred!! I turned around, knowing I would never see her again, but there she was! In the sun, the sky, the birds sang her name, she gallopped in my heart in in the clouds. I've never lost her since, strange as it might sound. She has given me strenght many times, she gave me the strenght to hold a little lesson pony on her way over the rainbow bridge, when nobody else, not even the BO cared, strength to say yes and no, to follow my heart (and head), and almost every single piece of equipment I had that was hers has made a difference in some horses or kids life. Her blanket keeps an old broodie misused for lesson horse warm in the winter, her halter replaced a chafing and worn-out halter on another lesson horse, her polos, her bridle, her fleece blanket - they have all made a difference. Just as she made a difference in my life and taught an autistic person how to love unconditionally, I want to make a difference to others, to horses, to humans. The stretched-out hand that offers instead of takes, the kind eyes that do not condemn, the ever-forgiving soul of an 80 year old grandmother from who has been taken, and to whom has been given, and who knows that everything goes around.
Ah Basse, I miss you, my tears wrote a poem of love for you on my cheeks. I didnt know an animal could mean so much. Thankyou for coming to me in the fall of your life, and teaching me a little more of being a human.
Tuesday, 17 March 2009
Monday, 9 March 2009
Ups and downs
Yesterday I called Cargos breeder :) He told me a lot of things about Cargo, everything about what a great dressage horse he was etc.
Today Cargos old owner, Andrea was here, and told me some things that definitely did not fit with the breeders description!
Vaulting: Breeder said he was used for vaulting competetively for quite some time. Andrea told me he had been tried out once with the vaulting group, but his back was too short because of his giant withers (Which, btw, was where they first met him).
Jumping: Breeder said he knew free jumping and had never had bad experiences with jumps. Andrea told me she had met somebody who had had him in training for jumps because he "refused all the time" - turns out he had been utterly destroyed at a former trainer.
Dressage: "He is a dressage horse!! Knows everything!! Needs a really good rider and can do anything!!". He is not, I didnt need Andrea to tell me that. He will do it, but not exactly willingly and eager to please.
Trails: "He has never been on a trail" the breeder said, Andrea also told me how they had re-trained him. He goes really nice on the trails, except that he will stumble a bit because he is curious and looks everywhere except for in front of him.
Bah. Ah well, Pony will have a good life with me!
Today Cargos old owner, Andrea was here, and told me some things that definitely did not fit with the breeders description!
Vaulting: Breeder said he was used for vaulting competetively for quite some time. Andrea told me he had been tried out once with the vaulting group, but his back was too short because of his giant withers (Which, btw, was where they first met him).
Jumping: Breeder said he knew free jumping and had never had bad experiences with jumps. Andrea told me she had met somebody who had had him in training for jumps because he "refused all the time" - turns out he had been utterly destroyed at a former trainer.
Dressage: "He is a dressage horse!! Knows everything!! Needs a really good rider and can do anything!!". He is not, I didnt need Andrea to tell me that. He will do it, but not exactly willingly and eager to please.
Trails: "He has never been on a trail" the breeder said, Andrea also told me how they had re-trained him. He goes really nice on the trails, except that he will stumble a bit because he is curious and looks everywhere except for in front of him.
Bah. Ah well, Pony will have a good life with me!
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Champion
"You are a great champion. When you ran, the ground shook; the sky opened and mere mortals parted the way to victory, where I met you in the winners circle and laid a blanket of flowers upon your neck."
I miss you Basse. Today I would have owned you for a year. You will always be the champion of my heart!! I cry for you.
I miss you Basse. Today I would have owned you for a year. You will always be the champion of my heart!! I cry for you.
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